how to let go of control

It’s common to find yourself reaching for perfectionism and working to maintain control over your life and relationships. We live in a society that encourages us to meticulously plan, strive for flawlessness, and maintain a tight grip on every aspect of our lives. As I explore in my therapy practice, my ceramic practice, and my workshops, control and perfection is simply a myth. Relinquishing control can be frightening, but learning to not fuss over the outcome can bring beautiful experiences and a more peaceful day to day. 

Letting go of control can mean less overthinking and self-doubt, bringing reduced stress and anxiety and increased creativity. You are more likely to loosen expectations on relationships leading to less conflict and increased connection with others. Releasing your grip on controlling everything can also bring greater resilience. When you let go of the need for control, you can more easily accept imperfections and setbacks, learning from failure and increasing adaptability.
The first step in releasing control is to recognize your tendencies toward control and perfectionism. This self-awareness can help you understand how they affect your life and well-being. Practicing goal-setting in a manageable, realistic way by choosing achievable goals and breaking them into smaller steps. Practice mindfulness as you reach toward your goals, helping to stay present. It can also help to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist, who can provide valuable perspective and emotional support.

A creative way to release control is to practice with something low-stakes. Is there something you can do that you do not need to worry yourself over the outcome? Maybe practicing film photography or a craft like pottery. Be okay with failure and experience what it means to learn from it.
My pottery workshops are designed to create this exact experience. My workshops aren’t meant for mastery of a craft. They are a safe space to practice relinquishing control and relishing in a process of creativity among other humans. They are for laughing and releasing perfectionist tendencies and creating something simply for the joy of it.

Practicing relinquishing control over the outcome on something smaller and enjoyable can help in releasing the fear over failure when it comes to the larger things in life.